In this photo Kate is feeding Henri the calf
Kate and I have designated September 8 “Neck Appreciation Day” after yet another unexpected riding surprise on that day.
Yes, riding with Kate pretty much guarantees an adventure of sorts. You always have to be on your guard when riding with the inimitable Kate, Queen of Bling.
So what happened on that auspicious riding day? Thrilled to be called upon to round up a calf we would put our cattle drive skills into practice. Though this was a sad occasion for the calf as his mum died under a wise old oak tree at home the night before, we needed to get the calf to a pen to feed him and take care of the mum’s body.
Being savvy cowgirls, we discussed on foot versus on horse options. Kate, fittest cowgirl on earth, who visits the gym for two hours every day come hell or high water, could run down the calf on foot. The rest of us on the other hand, would just be able to cheer her on, and would not look like real cowgirls. Thus, we realized we should ride our horses. Plus we wanted to ride anyway.
Putting on our cowgirl Bling attitude Kate and I mounted our trusty steeds that day, Ellie the Quarab and Dario, most sexy Arabian on the planet.
While the real cowgirls were closing gates to prevent the calf’s escape from nearby pens, Kate and I were waiting quietly. Practicing our cow calls learned from our ten day cattle drive in Utah and Arizona two years earlier, we felt a little trepidation. Our horses are not used to rounding up cattle. Depending on which way the wind blows is the main driver of whether our horses would flip backwards with fear or step up to the ranch task at hand.
Lining up along the road which the calf would come along we were prepared. Kate, as ever, in her baseball cap, halter top covering her ample chest, and shorts displaying her shapely legs was looking rather Blingy on her handsome Arabian. Toned and muscular, she resembled a cheetah ready to pounce. And pounce she did. With no notice nor obvious scary object nearby, her Arabian jumped six feet forward in a millisecond.
I watched as she arced past me in slow-fast motion on her “leaping carousel Arabian.” Six foot forward and six foot high. Athletes in motion. The Cirque Du Soleil of the ranch world. My horse did not twitch. Unbelieving, Kate looked at me as if to ask, “what happened?”
“Man, you looked good,” I said, laughing my jeans off. I do warn fellow riders that I tend to laugh at inappropriate times. I have lost friends by laughing at their bad luck: my nine year old podgy friend who stood at the edge of a creek bank and under whom the earth gave way dumping her into the water never forgave me, for example. She left our sleepover within ten minutes of my laughing at her.
Kate, took it in good stride. The only evidence that this incident happened was Kate’s baseball cap on the ground. Our hallowed cowgirl leaders who shall remain nameless so as not to outshine our cowgirlness, saw nothing of this drama.
Kate, being an off the scale Influencer in DISC communication style terms, wanted her audience, but alas I was her single audience member. So I did my best. “I think your neck is going to hurt tomorrow as I saw your head touch Dario’s bum and flick back,” I warned. “You really have “Velcro butt.” Talk about kissing butt.” I have never seen Kate fall off her horse in the five years we have ridden together. In Britain riders say that you are not a real rider until you have fallen seven times.
We waited for the calf to head our way. Stumbling towards us he worked our plan. We embarked on our ranch chore. Surprisingly, our horses stepped up to the task of pushing the small calf into his pen. In a matter of less than five minutes, we members of the “A Team” on our cattle drive had popped the baby in.
We were "Blinging" that morning. Having efficiently “cowgirled up” we proceeded to reward ourselves with a challenging trail ride up and down canyons.
After putting up our cow horses, we went back to bottle feed the calf who by this time had been named “Henri”for his European flare. Thankfully, he was hungry and took to the new bottle immediately. We put his mum to rest. Yes indeed, we "Blinged" that day.
The day after Queen Kate's whiplash had set in. Talking about it as cowgirls do, we agreed that our neck is an under-valued part of our body. Think about it. Our skinny necks hold up heavy twelve pound heads – all day, every day, year in and year out. Do we thank our necks? No. Do we wear pink ribbons to honor our neck? No. Do we have Blingy braces for our necks? No. Our necks either suffer or do the job. Thus, we anoint September 8 “Neck Appreciation Day.”
So fellow riders and cowgirls, we encourage you to go to your friends on September 8, or indeed any day, and give their necks compliments. Just a tip, do not say, “Hey, great turkey neck!” Do not say, “Love your gizzard.” Rather, “what a strong and beautiful neck you have..” or something along those lines that cannot be interpreted.
0 comments:
Post a Comment