The Inappropriate Fox

I figured that I had better write about the inappropriate fox before I forget it - although, the experience wasn’t really one that I would consider forgettable. Any who ….Here goes: Sheila and I were riding down the shady part of the trail at Red Horse Ranch - the part where both Dash and Ace would always get all sticky and nervous in the old days – but Dash has grown out of that and was walking along doing his best calm quarter horse impression when he suddenly perks his ears up and rotates them around so they look like antennas. This is what he does when he detects something ….. anything - a deer, a cow, a worm or like I was about to find out – a fox.

Yep, it was a fox right there in the middle of the trail looking right at us. Big bushy tail and all (just making sure you knew that I knew what a fox looked like). Dash just stared at it – Dash who has been known to jump from a string hanging from a tree or a suspicious looking rock – he stood there, cocked his head to one side and probably said to Ellie who was behind us “Hey, Elle – there’s a fox” and then he stepped toward it. The fox didn’t move. This is when I decided that it wasn’t an ordinary fox. This was an inappropriate fox. It was the middle of the day and we were no more than six feet from it – now I’m no fox expert or anything but I’m pretty sure that foxes are nocturnal and shy (or is it sly?). Anyway, shy or sly - I’ve watched enough Animal Planet to know that a normal fox would have run!

Sheila with her good advice (as always) advised that we turn around but I (feeling all brave since Dash didn’t seem to be worried) thought we could just scare it off by waving our hands and walking towards it. Nope ….. maybe an appropriate fox would have turned and run but not the inappropriate fox, it just took a step sideways (not back) and continued to look at me waving my arms and shouting “Go away fox” and at Dash with his orbiting ears. Dash – who is known to be inappropriate himself (I have to always tell people when they ask if he is normal that he is definitely not) didn’t seem bothered. Finally I decided that since I was basing my bravery on my inappropriate horse, it would be better to not follow Dash’s lead and instead take Sheila’s advice and turn around.

We headed away from the inappropriate fox laughing and shaking our heads about our strange encounter. We had all kinds of theories …. Everything from it being sick or even rabid to that it was possibly someone’s long lost pet – but, we finally decided that it was just inappropriate (hey – if a horse can be inappropriate, why not a fox?). After leaving the fox, Dash went right back to his quarter horse impression and we continued on our ride. I looked back to say something to Sheila and I kid you not, I see the inappropriate fox trotting after us on the trail. You heard me right; it was trotting after us down the trail like it was part of a convoy, Me on Dash, Sheila on Ellie and then the fox all in a line. Now, correct me if I’m wrong but that is really inappropriate – at least for a fox in the middle of the day.

I told Sheila that the fox was heading her way and we were both shocked – what the heck ……a fox was chasing us? My Dad belongs to a hunt club in Pennsylvania and I’m pretty sure that the people and horses are supposed to be chasing the fox. I guess no one ever told the inappropriate fox this information or maybe Texas foxes just don’t follow the strict hunt rules – they might be more redneck, macho types who would never let a bunch of men in red coats and top hats chase them around (don’t tell my Dad I said that). If you remember, I tried to relay the appropriate hunt rules when we first encountered the fox by shouting and waving my hands but this guy just wasn’t listening. So – we proceed to try to lose it by weaving through the trail.

Through our amazing trail skills and knowledge of the terrain - we managed to lose the fox and were trying to decide if we were terrified or amused or what when …. You’re not going to believe this, I look ahead and the fox was coming straight for us at a pretty good clip. OK … no discussion needed at this point. This fox had gone too far– we immediately deployed flight mode and took off. This was no game people, the inappropriate fox was actually stalking us and we were not sure what it had planned but it was not afraid of two large horses with people on them and we didn’t even have red coats and top hats. Sheila and I were kind of nervously laughing (you know, the high pitched kind of laughing that happens when you are trying to convince yourself that everything is OK) while we aborted our trail ride and put 100% effort into getting back to the barn.

We made it back to the barn (without the fox) and began to tell our story to anyone that would listen. I’m pretty sure they didn’t believe a word we told them – it went something like this: Me: “Hey everyone, Sheila and I were chased by a fox” – Them: “Riiiiiiiight, a fox – chasing you through the trails, come on - that just isn’t normal”. Me: “ Sure, you can call it not normal – I’m thinking inappropriate would describe it to a T!” For the record, we weren’t the only ones that day that came across the inappropriate fox. A few kids taking lessons were terrified (we tried to warn them) and another rider or two were followed. The next thing we knew there were traps and game wardens and then just like that, no fox. I can’t help but hope that the little weirdo somehow got away.